


Fixing Her

by SVU_Addict



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alcohol, Crying, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Olivia is having a rough time folks, Pining maybe??, Post 19x01, Rafael is smitten but also really just wants to make her feel okay, Rafael just wants to help, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-23 00:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SVU_Addict/pseuds/SVU_Addict
Summary: Rafael has never seen Olivia so broken, and he'll do everything he can to put the pieces back together.





	1. Aftermath and a Decision

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally something I wrote at 3 o clock in the morning. If you have any critiques on language, grammar, etc., please let me know lol. I hope you enjoy this fic though! Honestly, I just wanted to write a cute fluffy fic where Rafael picks Olivia up after the whole 19x01Karla debacle.

_“Where are you going?”_

_“I’m going to get Karla’s statement.”_

As the door slammed itself shut behind Olivia, Rafael’s head was swimming with so many thoughts he barely registered the sound. The case was on his mind, sure, and so was Fin’s major diplomatic fuck-up of an arrest; the thing that kept coming up in his brain, though, was Olivia. Olivia, who always spent time caring for victims and families, and never once took time off or even thought of losing her composure. Olivia, who’d nearly broken down in tears in front of him only moments ago after a confrontation no worse than anything else she’d seen. Who never batted an eyelash at the prospect of giving her life in pursuit of justice, who never once stopped to think of the consequences. He’d witnessed something he’d never seen in her features, and that was the realization of the responsibilities she had outside of the job: the well-being of her son, and most importantly, her own safety, if only for Noah’s sake.

He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated breath as the whole conversation sank fully into his brain. He walked out of her office and started towards the squad room door, the ringing of office phones and the din of conversation drowned out in his mind. All he could think of was her face as she’d exited the room: angry, hurt, and self-doubting, an expression he rarely saw on her face with that kind of intensity. Her brown eyes had been brimming with tears, and she’d looked, in a way most wouldn’t detect, defeated. He mentally kicked himself for having made the offhanded comment about how she should have let Karla shoot Marks; he knew it had immediately brought her guilt bubbling up to the surface, and his fists clenched at the thought that it was his fault she’d nearly broken down. His awkward response probably hadn’t helped either. _Why didn’t he just apologize?_

Once he made it to the elevator, he paused, his finger hovering over the down button on the panel. Somehow, something in his stomach didn’t sit right. With the investigation into her for child abuse, he realized, she must have been acutely aware of every mistake she made. She knew she’d put herself in harm’s way, and she didn’t think of Noah, and it had scared her, possibly so much that she couldn’t forgive herself just then. He knew she was breaking, and he’d never seen it in all the years he’d been there. He backed away from the elevator and leaned against the adjacent wall, trying to think of what he should do. He never wanted to make their relationship anything other than professional, at least he told himself he didn’t, but he had truly fucked up here. He hated so much to see her face so twisted in pain, and he never wanted to see it again. He walked back into the squad room with a newfound motivation, sitting down at the large table in front of the whiteboard, and leaning back slightly, wondering what the fuck he was doing.

“Counselor? What are you doing here still?”

He recognized the thick Staten Island accent straight away. He didn’t look up when he replied. “Waiting for Benson to finish with Karla’s statement so I can read it over,” he lied, sighing.

“Bullshit. I saw her storm out of that office,” Carisi said, and Barba could almost feel the smirk on the younger man’s face. “What did you do?”

He was joking, Barba knew, but it only served as another punch in the gut. “I make a distasteful joke,” he explained, keeping the details to himself as he folded his hands together nervously.

“Okay. So why are you staying here?”

Barba thought about his response for a moment, probably too long. “Honestly, I don’t know. To apologize, to help.”

“She’s going through a lot right now, what with Noah and – “

“Yeah don’t remind me,” Barba interrupted sharply, rubbing his face with one hand. “She spends so much time on other people, that when she’s forced to focus on herself…she just can’t register it. I’ve never seen it.”

“Neither have I.” Carisi paused, unsure how to fill the silence. Barba looked up and saw Carisi’s brow furrowed with a half-hearted smile on his face. He knew. He sighed and turned to walk away. “Good luck, Barba.”

“Thanks,” Barba replied, smiling faintly and thanking God he could be alone with his thoughts again. It didn’t help that Carisi had probably guessed at his feelings for the Lieutenant, but he couldn’t worry about that now. All he had to do now was wait, however long it took.

******************************

It was at least a half an hour before Olivia came out of the interview room, a bright yellow notepad tucked under one arm and her glasses swinging from her index finger. She seemed calmer, but her eyes were still glazed over, and she had been nervously biting her lip. He stood up and smoothed out his jacket, sighing deeply and taking the notepad as she held it out to him.

“Great,” he said simply, scanning the statement briefly. He smiled slightly if only to help her mood. He looked up and saw Olivia carding her fingers through her hair, eyes closed and a sharp breath escaping her lips. He could see where her mascara had run just slightly, and he knew instantly that she was worse off than he’d originally thought.

“Liv,” he breathed, putting the notepad down on the table behind him. “Have you eaten anything?”

“No,” she breathed, but it was like she wasn’t even listening. “I haven’t felt like eating much.” As soon as the words fell out of her mouth, she shut it again and looked down away from him.

“Then please,” Rafael murmured softly, moving a step closer. “Let me buy you a drink and some dinner.”

“Rafael, I’m fine,” she asserted, staring him directly in the eyes.

“Bullshit. Liv,” he breathed. “For once, let someone do something for you. You’re going through a lot of shit. Have a drink or two and something to eat and I’ll leave you alone.”

Her brows furrowed as she thought about his proposal, but she finally sighed and smiled lightly. “Okay,” she said, sounding like an indignant five-year-old. “But I have to get home to Noah.” Her voice cracked on her son’s name.

“I know,” he said. The smile she’d given him moments ago gave him some hope. He’d managed to do something right for once. “I won’t keep you long, I promise.”


	2. Stay A While

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv needs someone to talk to, and Rafael will always be there to listen. He would be there in every way if he could, every day, every moment. But how in hell would he even begin to breach the subject? Maybe he doesn't have to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had a lot of fun with this chapter. Critiques are appreciated, though! I always want to improve as a writer.

Rafael took Olivia by cab to a bar he rarely went to; it was out of the way, but it was small, quiet, and calm, at least at that time of night. He knew she’d probably want to be away from people in the mood she was in, and he remembered that there were corner couches. It was a younger place, but it was too late for it to be crowded.

Olivia stepped out of the cab once they’d made it to the place, rubbing her gloved hands together to warm them and drawing her coat tighter around her.

“What is this, a lounge?” she joked, a smile creeping across her face. The sign was bright blue neon and it certainly looked like a club lounge, he had to admit.

“Funny,” he replied, huffing out a laugh. “Younger place, but there are comfy couches and plenty of wine.”

“Perfect,” she breathed, walking ahead of him but stopping before she entered. “I have to be home to check on Noah in an hour when Lucy leaves,” she explained, the familiar worry spreading across her features again. Rafael walked up next to her and opened the door for her.

“I’ll have you back in plenty of time, I promise.”

She smiled at him softly and walked in, letting out a breath as soon as the door closed behind them. “It’s so warm, thank God.”

“Figured you wouldn’t mind this place. I’ll get us some drinks.”

“Get me a – “

“Cabernet, I know,” he said with a smirk, walking towards the bar while she sat down on one of the couches in the back. He ordered a scotch on the rocks for himself, and one of their better cabernets for Olivia. He was happy he’d made her smile so far; he wanted her to be happy, at least for one moment. If she could make a happy memory tonight, one to remember and to remind her that she can talk to him, he would have succeeded. He turned to walk towards the spot she’d chosen; she was beneath blue flickering neon that read, _Stay A While_. On the stark background of the black walls, her brown hair stood out in the bright glow of the sign, as did her smile when she looked at him. He realized he was staring, and he shook his head minutely. Handing her the glass of wine, he sat down beside her and took a long sip of his scotch.

“Do you want to talk?” he asked softly, looking her in the eyes. He wanted to monitor her disposition, so he wouldn’t push her too far; that was the last thing he wanted to do.

She shifted slightly, looking down into her glass for a long moment before taking a large sip. “I don’t know what to talk about,” she breathed, her voice shaking. _Damn._

“You don’t have to,” he assured her gently, leaning forward slightly. “You do not have to. I just want to be here, in any way I can.”

“I know,” she whispered, looking at him and smiling sadly. She took another long sip of her wine, setting it down on the table in front of her and letting her head rest on her hands. “I’m tired,” she said simply. “I’m tired of not knowing…of feeling so much that I’m…numb,” she whispered, leaning back and breathing deeply. When she opened her eyes again, they were brighter than they had been before, but still…not quite there. “I don’t…know what to do.”

He didn’t speak for several moments, wondering if she would say something else. Every time she opened her mouth to say something, she’d close it and take another sip of wine. After a few sips, he finally let out a deep breath and locked eyes with her.

“Olivia,” he said, his voice deeper than usual. “You’re a wonderful mother. You know that and I know that. I’ve seen it.” He finished his scotch in one go before he said what he did next, setting the glass down on the table with a glassy thump. “You know this is unfounded. You tried to save him. And if anyone, and I mean anyone, tries to take him away from you…they’ll answer to me.”

Olivia stared at him all the while, her eyes going from melancholy to hopeful and slightly shocked.

“Thank you, Rapha,” she whispered, tears starting to fall.

 For a moment he wondered if he’d done something wrong or if he’d gone too far, but she was smiling. Really smiling. He hadn’t seen one of those smiles in a long time. After Dodds, she never seemed to get a break from her normal stressors, but now she was really smiling again. He smiled lightly and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t need to thank me. I’m calling it how it is.”

“I’m glad _you_ believe me.”

“We all do,” Rafael asserted. “Hell, even Fin is worried about you. We all know who you are. They don’t,” he said sharply. He watched her eyes start to glow in the neon above them, and he was transfixed for a split second. It was like looking through cracked crystal; the world was slightly distorted to her then, but she glowed in the light, reflected it beautifully in her smile and her laugh, and she would find a way to mend it. They both would.

“I know,” she agreed, finishing her glass and setting it down next to his. She put her hand on top of his, which was still resting on his shoulder. He hadn’t really meant to linger that long.

“There are no grounds for this,” he continued, putting on his lawyer persona for a moment if only to reassure her. “They’ll check CCTV cameras. They’ll see what happened.”

“I looked away from him, Rapha…”

“You’re human,” he scoffed. “Tell me what parent has ever been perfect in the history of this world. Name one.”

“I know,” she conceded, running her hand through her curls and leaning back into the couch. Her eyes closed, and she took a series of deep breaths. He heard a few of them stagger; she was trying not to cry.

“Another Cab?”

“Yes, please,” she said, without hesitation. “And Rafael...thank you.”

Rafael had already gotten up, but he turned at her words to see her grinning up at him.  His heart lifted; maybe this would be a good memory for her. Maybe she could find momentary peace, and that thought alone immediately made him smile.

“No need to thank me,” he whispered.

“For the drinks,” she joked, smirking at him and crossing her legs.

“Uh-huh. Be right back.”

When he returned with another glass for her, they started talking about the cases. The ups and the downs, the evidence and the testimonies. He saw her face soften as they continued talking, and the conversation moved into playful banter. Him poking fun at Carisi and his legal jargon, her joking about Fin’s arrest – much to his displeasure – and everything seemed more right somehow. They talked like that for nearly half an hour, laughing and sneering and enjoying each other’s company.

Rafael knew in this moment he was completely and truly fucked. He’d denied it many a time, but Liv was…beautiful. On the outside, sure; her eyes were something he’d never seen before, and her smile was ethereal. What really had him fucked, though, was her soul. Every inch of her personality was completely and unequivocally kind, and gentle, protective when it needed to be, and unbelievably strong. He’d seen it after Lewis; she’d picked herself back up after months of falling back into the nightmares and the flashbacks. He’d seen her shed tears, he’d seen her lose her composure in the interview room, and he’d known then that she would make it through, because she was strong. The strongest person he’d ever met, that was certain. And if he could help her pick herself up again, if he could help her see what he saw, he’d do anything. That was the only flaw he could find in her; she could never see the beauty or strength he saw in her. The beauty everyone saw in her. And he wanted to fix that, in any way he could.

Olivia checked her watch after forty-five minutes and her eyes shot open. “I need to get home,” she breathed, putting her phone in her coat and slipping her gloves back on, swallowing down the rest of her wine.

“I still haven’t fed you,” he realized, smiling sheepishly. “Damn.”

Olivia smiled similarly, and paused for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought.

“What?”

“Raf, you owe me.”

He chuckled. “Excuse me?”

“You did make me come down here,” she reminded him, smirking and standing up. “I did what you said…so…”

“Yes?”

“Come home with me. We’ll order takeout. I’ll let you pick from my menu stash,” she giggled, though he could sense she was nervous.

His stomach flipped. “Of course,” he whispered, tentatively reaching a hand out to her, which, thankfully, she took. This would be a long cab ride, he knew, but he didn't mind a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, critiques, and kudos are very much appreciated! Thanks for reading! Another chapter should be coming tomorrow.


	3. Dinner Theater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia takes Rafael home, and Rafael buys her dinner as promised. When she needs support, he'll always be there, and she knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been MIA! School work has been crazy, but I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's nearly 3000 words long and I spent so. Much. Time. Perfecting it. If you have any suggestions let me know! Comments and kudos much appreciated. :D

The cab ride home was, thankfully, full of meaningless but pleasant chatter. Rafael’s heart was beating so fast he was sure she would notice it, but he did his best to ignore the ringing in his ears and the dumbfounded teenage part of his brain. He realized that her expression had smoothed over, her demeanor seemed lighter, and while he was sure some of it had to do with the wine, he felt relieved. He loved to see her smile; it was what had made him fall for her in the first place, the way she grinned from ear to ear and radiated confidence, even in times like these.

She looked at out the window and sighed softly, her breath fogging up the window. It had started to rain outside, and she traced a pattern on the window absentmindedly. She looked lost in thought, so Rafael tapped her shoulder lightly.

“You okay?”

Her eyebrows shot up in acknowledgment. “Yeah, fine,” she said, turning around with a brief flash of a smile. “Just…concerned. Nervous. But not the kind of nervous I have been for the past week…it’s nice,” she breathed, sitting back in her seat and closing her eyes. Rafael noticed her hands intertwined in her lap and her feet shuffling slightly.

“I’d certainly hope I don’t make you nervous,” he said, smirking. “Then again, considering my position, I probably make you pretty nervous most of the time. I do criticize you in terms of evidence, especially if it’s not strong enough to make a case. Which it usually isn’t,” he joked with a snicker.

“And yet you take them anyway,” she scoffed, batting his arm lightly and furrowing her brows at him. “And you win with our ‘not-good-enough’ evidence,” she remarked, adding finger quotes.

“Most of the time,” he conceded, his chest puffing up a bit. He sat back with her and turned his head in her direction, though she was still faced forward with her eyes closed. Somehow her face looked brighter, less worn, less stressed. Maybe it was the bright blue, yellow, and red light from the street lamps and cars passing around them as they drove, but he saw a different person than he’d walked out of the precinct with only an hour and a half earlier.

“You’re staring,” he heard Olivia mutter, and he realized she’d opened one of her eyes and locked it with his.

“Sorry,” he sighed, turning around and feeling his face get hot. “You just seem better.”

“I am,” she agreed, smiling and turning to look at him as he’d done before. “You tend to have that effect on me if I’m being honest. Normally I wouldn’t have gone out on a day like this…”

“I know,” he replied, looking at her and smiling. “But that’s why you needed to.” He paused for a moment and looked out his window, considering his next words carefully. Still turned away from her, he sighed softly. “You need to take care of yourself more often.”

“I do,” she interjected, and he saw her out of the corner of his eye sitting up and resting her hands on her knees.

“I know,” he said, turning around and smiling gently. “But you need to try it more often. You’re always extremely…focused, but on other people,” he began, furrowing his brows. “The victims, the perps, your detectives, Noah…for once, focus on yourself. Acknowledge your feelings; don’t bury them.”

“I go to therapy, sometimes,” she rebutted.

“I know,” he chuckled, though he saw her face fall when he did. He straightened himself and sighed. “Point is, Olivia, sometimes therapy isn’t enough. Hell, have a glass of wine, don’t shut people out…talk about it. Especially with me, Liv. That was the whole reason I brought you out tonight. I want you to know I’m here for you, especially in these types of circumstances. I’ve known you for years and have never once seen you just…talk it out. So, for me, every now and again…take care of yourself.”

Her expression had stiffened but softened with realization as Rafael continued. Her mouth fell slightly open and her eyes seemed to shine slightly brighter. “Thank you,” she breathed, closing her mouth and smiling softly. “Thank you.”

Before he could come up with a reply, the cab screeched to a stop in front of Olivia’s apartment building, and she paid the fare quickly and thanked the driver. As it was still raining, she pulled her coat tighter over her shoulders.

Rafael grabbed her hand. “Ready?”

She nodded, and he opened the door quickly and dragged her out of the cab, both running through the rain and laughing like kids when Liv splashed in a puddle where the concrete had buckled. As the cab sped off, both stood under the awning of the building, watching the rain drip off it and giggling.

“That was a mess,” she remarked, brushing herself off and wringing out her hair a bit.

“True,” he replied with a chuckle. “But that’s the closest I’ve felt to a teenager in a while. Come on,” he said, opening the door to the building.

They both rode up to her floor in relative silence, both occasionally giggling at each other. Liv’s shoes and the bottom half of her pants were soaked, and he was still shaking the water out of his hair. Rafael realized how surreal this all felt. He felt like he was in some sort of rom-com, running through the rain and going up to her apartment, both of them laughing like kids and lost in each other. At least, he hoped he wasn’t the only one feeling something; she was difficult to read, but he couldn’t stop feeling what he did if he tried. He got lost in her eyes often, sometimes trying to read them, other times trying to memorize their exact hue in different lighting, trying to commit them to his mind. He found himself lost in their conversations, whether they were personal or business-related, as she always seemed so focused and poised, pensive and cool. It was the times like these, though, that he treasured; when she smiled, when she made small talk or the way her eyes lit up when she talked about –

“Noah should be asleep,” she said, shaking him out of his thoughts as she fumbled with her keys. “We’ll need to be quiet, but he takes Melatonin before bedtime; he’s probably out like a light.”

“I miss being that young,” he remarked, smiling as he entered her apartment and wiped off his feet on the mat. “Sleeping, eating, playing. God, if only those priorities stayed with you,” he sighed as he hung his coat up.

“I know,” she agreed, grinning widely and throwing her coat over the kitchen counter. She grabbed two wine glasses out of her cabinet and turned around, placing them on the counter opposite. “I know we’ve already had something, but I’d like another glass. You?”

“No, thank you,” Rafael said softly, sitting on her couch and leaning back.

“More for me then,” Olivia said with a shrug, putting one glass back in its respective cabinet and taking a red wine out of her rack. As she opened it, she started humming something to herself, something Rafael didn’t recognize.

“What are you humming?” he inquired softly, getting up from his position on the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

Olivia stopped and corked the bottle, turning around and leaning back on the counter with her glass in hand. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly, looking down at the floor. “It’s a lullaby, one that my mom used to sing to me…I sing it to Noah most nights.” Suddenly Rafael wished he hadn’t asked, as she seemed to drift back into thoughts of the investigation into her.

“Hey,” he whispered, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the counter opposite her. “It’s okay. You’ve got nothing to worry about, I told you that.”

“It’s not even just the investigation,” she breathed, her voice shaking. She took a sip of her wine. “My mother…she wasn't always perfect, to say the least,” she scoffed, looking back down. “I constantly worry that I’m not…good enough for him, that I’m not doing right by him…”

“Hey, Liv,” he said sternly, walking closer to her. “Bullshit. The fact that you’re so broken tells you everything you need to know. You know what happened with those bruises,” he reminded her. “They don’t. Everyone thinks they’re a bad parent at some point, but if you’re anything, Liv, it’s not a bad mother.”

“You seem sure of yourself.”

“I am,” he replied. “I don’t have to be here all the time to know how much you love your son. You light up when you talk about him, and I do know that you would never, _ever_ , hurt a child. Let alone your own son.”

“I know,” she whispered, looking up and wiping away stray tears. “I just doubt…everything. Everything’s blurry now. When did he get so big, and when did I get so clueless?” she laughed, but tears fell again.

Rafael took the glass of wine out of her hand and set it on the counter behind him. “Well, that’s not going to help with the clarity,” he remarked, smirking at her and settling down next to her. “Liv…just relax. Speaking of relaxing, where’s your menu stash?” he asked. “We’ve got to eat something.”

“Right,” she said, her face slowly lighting up again as she wiped away tears with her sleeve. She walked over to her fridge and grabbed a basket off the top. Thank God, he’d changed the subject. She started looking through the menus and furrowed her brows. “Chinese…Italian…”

“I could go for pasta,” he remarked, shrugging his shoulders. “You probably need something substantial like that.”

“Probably,” she said, smiling and handing him a menu for an Italian bistro down the road. “They have amazing carbonara and pesto. I especially love their lasagna; simple, but delicious.”

Rafael smiled and picked up her landline, ordering the pesto and lasagna quickly and heading back to the kitchen. He handed Liv the menu, who stashed it back on top of the fridge. She reached for her coat to get out her wallet.

“What did I say?” Rafael said, taking out his own wallet. “I’m buying _you_ dinner, not the other way around.”

“Rafael – “

“No buts,” he cut in, holding up a finger and raising his eyebrows. “I’m buying, end of discussion.”

“I guess I have no grounds to object, do I?”

“Not really,” he chuckled. “It is a fact that I told you I’d buy you dinner.”

“But – “

“Nope,” he interjected. “I’m buying. No buts,” he said when she opened her mouth to say something else. She promptly closed it and picked up her glass of wine again.

“Fine,” she said, walking to the living room to sit on her couch. “Then you can pick the movie,” she said softly as she fell into the couch. Rafael went to join her and picked up her remote, fiddling through the channels until he flipped to _My Cousin Vinny_.

“God, I love this movie,” Olivia commented before he could switch away, and he looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

“Seriously?” he scoffed, sitting back. He put the remote down next to him. “It seems contrived to me, and rather boring.”

“I don’t think so at all,” Liv rebutted, looking shocked at his response. “Plus I love Marisa Tomei’s acting and outfits in every single scene. She’s unrivaled.”

“Reminds me of you,” he murmured with a smirk. “Confident, snarky…”

“But far bubblier than I am,” she laughed, leaning back. “And since when was I snarky?” she said, pursing her lips. “Anyway, you can change it.”

“No, I’ll give it a chance. Plus, the main goal is for you to relax, so really, my opinion doesn’t matter.”

“Alright,” she responded, smiling and leaning closer to him. “But only because I don’t want to argue anymore. I hate arguing with lawyers,” she mumbled.

They watched a few scenes of the movie, and Rafael still disliked it but didn’t let on. He laughed when she did simply because she made him laugh, and he noticed that as the movie went on, he liked it more and more. She tended to have that effect on him.

About twenty minutes into their film fest, there was a knock on the door and Rafael paid for the food. He brought it in and set it on her coffee table, going into the kitchen to grab forks.

“You’re not gonna get plates?” Olivia remarked as he walked back with the silverware in hand.

“No,” he said, snickering. “Listen, tonight is a lazy night. Just eat out of the box like a normal person.”

“A normal person uses plates – “

“What was that about arguing with layers?” he reminded her, sitting down and holding out a fork. “Just eat.”

They watched the movie in relative silence, if only because they were stuffing their faces with as much pasta as they could at any given moment. Olivia piped up a couple of times to comment on the meaning of a particular scene, and Rafael nodded and rarely offered his opinion, as she would typically scoff at him. He smiled through the whole thing, though, not really focusing on the movie as much as he focused on Olivia’s mood. He realized he was probably being slightly creepy, at least by most peoples’ standards, but he wanted to make sure she was okay. It had only really dawned on him then, but he wanted to keep her safe. The prospect frightened him but emboldened him at the same time, and he was confused as to what he would do to take such measures. He knew she wouldn’t want to cross any lines, and so he settled for being her movie-watching take-out-eating best friend for the time being, or maybe for as long as they would know each other.

“Rafael,” she piped up as the credits rolled on the screen. “Thank you. For everything, for the dinner, for the wine…”

“Don’t thank me,” he whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You needed it. Frankly, so did I,” he giggled, taking her box out of her hands and going to the kitchen to throw them both away. He was pleased to see she’d finished the food; she needed the energy.

“I have to thank you,” she said, biting her lip as he sat back down again. She had finished her third glass of wine that evening, and she was staring directly into his eyes. It wasn’t something he saw often.

“Well, then, you’re welcome,” he replied after a few moments, shifting closer to her on the couch and leaning back. “Thank God tomorrow is Saturday.”

“Tell me about it,” she huffed in agreement, putting her feet on the coffee table. “It feels good to have a break now and then, especially with…”

“I know,” he said softly, patting her hand next to his. “But you’ll get through it unscathed. You always find a way out.”

“I hope I won’t need to find one,” she breathed. “I hope they realize the truth and vindicate me.”

“They will. This is just a misunderstanding like you said.”

She hummed in agreement, then paused for a moment, looking over at him. “Rafael…thank you. Seriously…I don’t know what I’d do without you, your advice, your friendship…”

He looked over at her and studied her face briefly. He saw tears welling up in her eyes and noticed she was tracing patterns on her right leg. He thought she looked nervous.

“To tell the truth, I don’t know what I’d do without _you_ , either,” he replied honestly, smiling wholeheartedly. You’re…one hell of a human being, Olivia Benson. You never forget that, hm?” He knew he was letting his soft side show, but he didn’t care. She needed to hear it.

“Rafael…” she whispered, placing a hand on his and smiling. “Fuck, I don’t even know what to say…” she whispered, looking away as her face turned red.

“You okay?” he murmured, squeezing her hand.

“Yeah, more than okay,” she breathed. She ran a hand through her hair. “Rafael…you mean more to me than you’ll ever understand.”

Rafael’s heart jumped when he saw her smile. It was the most beautiful he’d seen in a long time. It was full of hope and happiness and pure Olivia, and he wanted to commit it to memory. “I think I might because I feel the same way. Have for years.”

“Oh, thank God,” she whispered, breathing out a laugh and not even taking a second to place a hand on his cheek and bring her lips to his. It was in this moment he realized he was entirely wrong; she had feelings for him. He’d hoped she had, had thought about it, but had convinced himself she didn’t. And as his eyes closed and he leaned in to deepen the embrace, he wondered what the hell had taken them so goddamn long.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated! I'll probably post another chapter today or tomorrow.


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